Half Term Feels..

Can’t believe my little monkeys are back at school next week – once again half term has gone too quick.

They have drove me mad, as they do, but I do love having them home and not having to do the horrid school run!

One of my lovely friends gave birth yesterday to baby number two, it made me flash back to when Grayson joined our family. I remember not knowing how to feel, i felt guilt, emotion, love and I was overwhelmed. Kellan had stayed with my mum and dad the night before, I was up at 5:30 and at the hospital for 7:30am ready to wait for my time to go down for my second section. I was told at 8am that we were going down at 9am.

My mum and dad had jumped on a bus to go into chelmsford town to wait for the news whether we had another boy or a little girl, they were then going to buy some clothes with Kellan.  After being sick most of the morning, early afternoon after having Grayson my mum and dad arrived at 1pm with Kellan. Not going to lie, I was so nervous. Kellan knew there was a baby in my tummy, but didn’t quite understand. He was only 20 months.

I sat in bed, with Grayson in my arms, i debated leaving him in his little bedside crib but thought it was a better option to be holding him. Kellan came in with mum and dad and instantly pulled away from me, he wasn’t interested in me and definitely wasn’t interested in his new baby brother. I felt my heart break inside, i just wanted to scoop Kellan up and hold him tight. My dad took Grayson while mum still held onto Kellan, he then off of his own back went in for a kiss, it was the most quickest little kiss ever. After about half hour mum and dad took him home while i spent quiet time with Grayson. We had to stay in hospital for a night because of the section.

When I was allowed home, I was so excited as i had missed Kellan so much. I thought when I got home he would of came up and cuddled me, no, how wrong was I.

It honestly took about a week for him to come over to me, he just ignored Grayson completely, that lasted for about 3-4 days. I remember it being such a hard time for us all, adjusting from a family of three to four, and not forgetting how young Kellan still was.

Now looking at them, they are the best of friends. Still fight for mummy’s attention, but understand that they have to share mummy.

That all feels like such a long time ago, it just fly’s. Really do enjoy every minute.

WhatsApp Image 2018-04-10 at 21.59.47

Hope you are all ok, Love A xx

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