Sorry for not blogging yesterday, i didn’t have moment to sit down long enough!
Woke up this morning and mum and Kellan were already up. Grayson was still in the land of snooze. Kellan was groggy this morning, as soon as his eyes are open his awake. He doesn’t give himself a minute to relax to see if he will doze back off. Mum said she was awoken by a distant voice this morning but she couldn’t work out where it was coming from. She knew it was Kellan, but couldn’t find him. She run into his bedroom, he wasn’t there, she checked the kitchen, lounge and dining room and again he was no where. She then noticed the back door to the garden was open, kellan had opened it this morning to ride his pushbike.. god knows how long he was out there for. Pickle.
He then asked for the iPad – iPad’s the best and worst invention ever. Now people who know me know i don’t let my kids have the iPads at home. They only have them on the rare occasion if we go for dinner or on holiday. Anyway, i gave in and let him have it. He sat quietly playing his plane game. Grayson woke up and sat with him. About half hour later Grayson wanted a cuddle with Nanny. Now Kellan is a nanny’s boy. She’s his nanny and no one else’s. Oh my god, he went like a loon. He didn’t want Grayson on his nanny, he wanted to sit on nanny’s lap. Grayson was to sit over with Mummy and not go near his nanny, well his tantrum just got worse. I then told him no more iPad and to come and have a wash. He threw himself all over the floor, he was screaming and shouting telling me i wasn’t his friend anymore. Honestly, i just don’t have the patience for it, i was always quite a patient person before kids. I don’t know what happened. This is the reason why i don’t let them have the iPads at home. It changes their behaviour completely. Bloody things. It don’t help because people are always on their phones now, its every day life. I hate it, I’m the worse person for it but i hate it.
Once I’ve put the kids to bed i sit there and think did i do enough today? Did i love them enough today? The little things in life always get in the way. The housework, the errands. I snap at them when I’m trying to do something when all they want is my attention. I feel guilty when i shout and tell them i need 5 minutes peace. The times i feel like locking myself in the bathroom just to be able to do my makeup in peace, or to even wee in peace. But they just want to be near you, near their mummy. You forget how little they are and how much they still need and want you. I love nothing more when there asleep in their little beds, tucking them in and kissing their beautiful little foreheads and whispering “mummy loves you so much”. We should be enjoying their toddler years, because one day when they are big and grown with their wives, husbands and kids and all moved out we will be sitting there wishing they were little again. Just to have that time with them again.
I find that we wish their lives away. I can’t wait for them to sleep through the night, i can’t wait till they start crawling, i can’t wait till they can walk, i can’t wait till they start school – next thing you know you are ordering their school uniform ready for the big day. Honestly, it goes so quick. I wish i had enjoyed the baby stage more and cherished it because these 4 years have flown.. literally flown. It scares me.
So mama’s, i know the newborn stage is hard, i know the sleep deprivation is a killer – it really is, i don’t know how i got through it, but i did. But please enjoy every moment of it, yesterday is gone, but tomorrow is on its way. Enjoy it.
OH and on a completely different subject, my baby boy Grayson learned to swim with his armbands on today! Very proud mummy over here X