Mum guilt..

Today has been a long, hot, sweaty day. I’ll be honest, the kids coped well. They’ve hardly eaten but you know yourself when its hot your appetite goes..

By 5-5:30 I was ready for bedtime, the kids were hyped because GaGa (my dad) had arrived from England for the weekend. They have been waiting all week to see him – i wish i got a photo of their little reaction when he surprised them with two little easyJet toy planes.

We sat and had dinner, then i run the kids bath – Kellan went into meltdown mode because he didn’t want a bath – he told me his not my friend anymore, I’m being naughty, I’m not nice.. as much as when he says it i try to ignore it, it does upset me. How can a little nearly 4 year old come out with such things? its not stuff myself or Dan say.. so where do they get it from? After Kellans screaming in the bath i got him out and told him to go and sit in the living room with nanny and gaga. I carried on sorting Grayson out, got him dressed and walked into the lounge. They weren’t there. They were in the garden. Not a problem but i like them to stay clean after their bath, not to get all hot and sweaty and dirty again.

So we all decided to sit outside, let them burn some of their energy – then Kellan decided to get into the pool. After telling him no for the 1000th time today, he ignored me. I don’t get it.. if Daddy was here it would be different. But no, lets all ignore mummy. Then because Kellan got in, obviously Grayson wanted to join in. Off he went.

To be honest, they were having a good time. They were giggling with each other and playing nicely which is lovely to see when they normally bicker! After half hour i told them it was time to get out. Grayson got out happy, i changed him and got him clean pjs.. kellan wasn’t so easy. Fifteen minutes i spent trying to get him out the pool. I again, told him his party was cancelled, his iPad was going in the bin and that he was going home with Daddy in the morning on bloody easyJet !! I was so fed up by this point, i was being aggy so the kids pick up on my mood and they test me. I finally got him out.. (unfortunately it took bribing him with Skittles to get him out.. don’t judge me)

He came over to me and i got him dried and again, more clean pjs. He then said to me “mummy, your my friend” i smiled at him, his beautiful little face and he was smiling ear to ear.. i said “I’m your friend too” he then wrapped his arms round my neck so tight and told me “I’ve missed you” he then gave me a kiss. Honestly, these kids turn me into the Hulk on a daily basis, but then a simple gesture and everything is forgotten about.. but then the mum guilt kicks in. Was i to hard on him? did i need to react in that way? so what they wanted to go in the pool after their bath?.. but at the time i feel like I’m doing it for the right reasons, not the wrong.

I don’t know, its hard isn’t it? Everyday has its up’s and down’s – they always end on an up. These kids are my world, they drive me insane. They really do. Every mummy needs a challenge right.. because our job isn’t hard enough!


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(they were waiting for their GaGa)

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