I’m sitting in the sun, Grayson is having his afternoon sleep, Kellan is happily floating around the pool with nanny and I’m sitting in the shade blogging.
Dan had to go back to England today, work commitments. I miss him already, hate not being with him.
Quiet time is so rare since being a parent, its weird when its quiet. Normally when my two monkeys are awake quiet time means they are up to something that they shouldn’t be doing.. like drawing on the walls, winding the dog up, jumping off my sofas, unrolling the toilet roll or even putting stuff down the toilet.
But its in these moments of rare nice silence that I think, i think about my children’s future, what they might be when they grow up. How Kellan is going to be in his first term of school, and what goes through their little minds. I also sit and realise how lucky I am, how lucky that I have been blessed with two beautiful little souls. Even though Grayson came a little bit sooner then we had planned – i wouldn’t change it.
The kids have been hard work this morning, we were all up early taking Daddy to the airport and it’s really hot. We had to go shopping after the airport run and Kellan went into full meltdown mode. I do get myself stressed out (i lost my shit), people start looking which then makes me feel like a terrible mother and kellan just don’t listen. I think i threatened to cancel his party at least 6 times and threaten to send him home on a plane with daddy. My uncle was with us and he had never seen this side of Kellan, he kept saying to him that if his great nanny was still with us he wouldn’t of got away with it.. but parenting is different this day and age isn’t it? Back when my mum and dad were growing up, if they spoke to their parents like kids do today they would of been thrown over their knee and got a smack on their arse, or even worse the cane (sod that) but look at the respect they gave their parents.
I know times have moved, but it is hard to know whether you are being to hard or to soft. I hate being judged, and most of the time as a parent i do feel like someone is judging me on my parenting. which is wrong really, because no parent should be judged.. parenting is hard. Don’t get me wrong, i was (and I’m sure most of us before kids were) one of these people who would think all sorts when i saw kids with things i didn’t agree with, like giving them a bag of sweets just to give you a moments peace, sitting with an iPad at the dinner table just so you could enjoy your hot meal, or leaving your kid on the floor in the middle of a tantrum in the super market because you wouldn’t get them a poxy kinder surprise but now i am a mum, i understand why people done it!
But anyway, here I am in my moment of peace while the kids are quiet. It’s lovely – not even going to try and say it isn’t!!
I’m off for a swim now, it’s too hot..
Yes, they are Kellan’s pants on the floor – he likes being naked.. (don’t we all..)